Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Pink Sky
Pink Sky
Storms don't hit much in portland. In fact, this storm really was quite a dud. But at the end, it provided some of the best usage of color in a sky I've ever seen. Behold. The Pink.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
This blog is moving..
Sunday, April 17, 2005
#3 The first road trip of my life. (scroll down for previous chapters)
The first road trip I ever took was back in 1993. It was January,
which is COLD and snowy. We were sitting in our dorm room listening to
the Beastie Boys' "Paul's Boutique," which mentions New York City
throughout the whole thing. "PING," went the invisible light bulb over
my head.
"Let's go to NYC," I said.
We hopped into the Ford Escort that I owned at the time, threw some
boxes of cereal and random snacks we had sitting in the dorm room into
the trunk and started driving. We packed our clothes and normal
sleeping stuff as well. We knew we wouldn't be sleeping in a hotel
because they were too expensive, but we figured we could catch a few
winks in the car, so we threw a few blankets in the trunk too.
From the map we figured the best way to drive to NYC was through
Canada. To go south around the Great Lakes, that were somewhat in the
way, would add quite a few extra hours, so we chose to drive to the
border and head through Canada. I don't remember much of the ride
there, but I do remember the things we did once we got to NYC.
We first parked the car in a 24 hour parking lot and headed into the
city. I had a few things in mind that I wanted to do and we did them
first. We ice-skated at Rockefeller Center, took a horse drawn
carriage ride and even ended up going to the top of the World Trade
Center. By the time we finished all of these fun things, it was time
to head right back to Michigan. Gotta love being 19 years old. You
can pull 3 nights in a row without much sleep.
It was Saturday night by the time we hit the Canadian border. As we
were making our way through the darkened highway, the car started
bucking, and the lights started to dim. It was windy, snowy and cold
and we were the only car on the highway. We had blankets and food in
the car, but it was not exactly the best place for us.
A large truck came upon the moonlit horizon and made a slow stop in
front of us. The driver of the truck offered to take us to his friend's
engine shop and find out if he was willing to open it up on a Sunday to
help us out. The only way we had to pay forit was with a check book. I
didn't have a credit card at the time, and neither did my traveling
buddy. We had to plead and convince this wonderful man to open up his
shop, work on our car for 6 hours and then trust that 2 college kids
from Michigan would have a check that was legit. Thankfully, the man
decided to look past all of those things and help fix our car. We were
on the road by Sunday afternoon, and made it back to school by late
Sunday night, just in time for us to grab a few winks of sleep and wake
up for our classes early Monday morning.
which is COLD and snowy. We were sitting in our dorm room listening to
the Beastie Boys' "Paul's Boutique," which mentions New York City
throughout the whole thing. "PING," went the invisible light bulb over
my head.
"Let's go to NYC," I said.
We hopped into the Ford Escort that I owned at the time, threw some
boxes of cereal and random snacks we had sitting in the dorm room into
the trunk and started driving. We packed our clothes and normal
sleeping stuff as well. We knew we wouldn't be sleeping in a hotel
because they were too expensive, but we figured we could catch a few
winks in the car, so we threw a few blankets in the trunk too.
From the map we figured the best way to drive to NYC was through
Canada. To go south around the Great Lakes, that were somewhat in the
way, would add quite a few extra hours, so we chose to drive to the
border and head through Canada. I don't remember much of the ride
there, but I do remember the things we did once we got to NYC.
We first parked the car in a 24 hour parking lot and headed into the
city. I had a few things in mind that I wanted to do and we did them
first. We ice-skated at Rockefeller Center, took a horse drawn
carriage ride and even ended up going to the top of the World Trade
Center. By the time we finished all of these fun things, it was time
to head right back to Michigan. Gotta love being 19 years old. You
can pull 3 nights in a row without much sleep.
It was Saturday night by the time we hit the Canadian border. As we
were making our way through the darkened highway, the car started
bucking, and the lights started to dim. It was windy, snowy and cold
and we were the only car on the highway. We had blankets and food in
the car, but it was not exactly the best place for us.
A large truck came upon the moonlit horizon and made a slow stop in
front of us. The driver of the truck offered to take us to his friend's
engine shop and find out if he was willing to open it up on a Sunday to
help us out. The only way we had to pay forit was with a check book. I
didn't have a credit card at the time, and neither did my traveling
buddy. We had to plead and convince this wonderful man to open up his
shop, work on our car for 6 hours and then trust that 2 college kids
from Michigan would have a check that was legit. Thankfully, the man
decided to look past all of those things and help fix our car. We were
on the road by Sunday afternoon, and made it back to school by late
Sunday night, just in time for us to grab a few winks of sleep and wake
up for our classes early Monday morning.
Friday, April 15, 2005
#2
My father passed away in June of 1995, and I found myself with a large chunk of change in the bank a few months after he passed on. He committed suicide, which usually means no insurance payout to the surviving family members. One warm August afternoon, when I trampled down the stairway to the main floor where the mailboxes where, I didn't know what I was about to find in my mailbox. I had no idea that inside that skinny, silver box with a keyhole was something that would change my path in life forever. Of course What they didn't know, and possibly couldn't have known, that giving a 21 year old that much money and a checkbook was just asking for trouble. In my case it would end up being excitement, adventure AND trouble.
By the spring of 1995 I was ready to be social again. I took these brand new wings that had sprouted in the tender care of all my new friends and began spreading my branches out to those who were offering friendship. All those days and nights roll into one in the shadowy recesses of my memories but they are remembered with a fondness of a time that will never be again. I moved from the apartment in one suburb to another apartment in another suburb. This apartment had many perks. It was in a complex right downtown and situated in a perfect spot for a very social place. It was behind a 24 hour eatery and everything was just around the corner. The supermarket, the movie duplex and the mall. It may have seemed like a completely different life as the apartment and job I had been living in. But that apartment still had somewhat of a dark cloud hanging above it. The previous apartment had been a studio where I was living with a roommate. She would sleep on the couch and where my bedroom was, the wall only went up about 3/4 to the cieling. I could get up on my tiptoes and peer over the wall to see what my roomie was doing. That didn't leave much to the imagination when we had guys over, but it worked until it was time for me to move off to be on my own.In spring of 1994 I was working as a cashier at the local grocery store, but the job didn't last very long. WEll to be honest, it was me who didn't last long IN the job. I wasn't happy and decided to do pizza delivery instead. Little did I know, but I was slowly building up debt because I wasn't paying attention to my budget, well really ANY budget. I was working every now and then, making cash from tips and a small paycheck every other week but it was not enough to pay the bills. Luckily I was one of those smarter college students and hadn't opened up a credit card at this point, but I had forgotten to pay the rent. Oh, and lights,tv, radio, heat and stove?? They also were bills that needed to be paid that weren't getting paid. I'm not sure if it was a matter of me doing it on purpose, or by accident. I was one of those kids lucky enough to get just about anything I wanted while I was growing up. While I didn't have a brand new BMW like some of my classmates, I was lucky enough to get a car when I turned 16. I didn't know that it was a different world outside my suburb. I thought that everyone had the same amount of money, dishes got washed on their own, and bills, well, I could always call mom right? That spring I was in a frame of mind that everything would work itself out when it came to the rent and bills. I was all about beer and partying with my friends. I turned 21 Feb. of 1995 and quite a few of my friends were underage. I hung out with a large group of people that ranged in ages. I even hung out with a sister and brother who would sometimes fight when they would come to my place. Those two people made a big impact on my life. I had never seen a brother and sister hate each other so much. It eventually got to the point where I would have two separate crowds of people at my house because of this sister/brother combo. The brother was part of the stereotypical hippie crowd who had stickers all over the back of his car, smoked pot and talked about the Grateful Dead. His sister and her friends who became mine, was part of the stereotypical college frat/sorority type of people who drank beer and talked about each other behind their backs. I also had the only apartment in my circle of friends. After having such a tough time making friends before college I was very thankful to have such a large circle who were all somewhat supportive. My apartment was behind a Denny's and that was just an additional thing that made my apartment THE place to hang out. When we would get board of being snowed in at the apartment, I would run down the stairs and into the snow. Jump in my jeep, warm it up, in negative 50 degree windchills, and drive 500 feet to the Denny's for an all night smoke and coffee sesh. The liquor and beer store was across the street from Denny's which made the party apartment even more appealing. We celebrated every birthday that year at my apartment. Everyone got a store bought cake and balloons. Every occaision was occaision enough for a kegger in the bathtub and a nice round of truth or dare.
By the spring of 1995 I was ready to be social again. I took these brand new wings that had sprouted in the tender care of all my new friends and began spreading my branches out to those who were offering friendship. All those days and nights roll into one in the shadowy recesses of my memories but they are remembered with a fondness of a time that will never be again. I moved from the apartment in one suburb to another apartment in another suburb. This apartment had many perks. It was in a complex right downtown and situated in a perfect spot for a very social place. It was behind a 24 hour eatery and everything was just around the corner. The supermarket, the movie duplex and the mall. It may have seemed like a completely different life as the apartment and job I had been living in. But that apartment still had somewhat of a dark cloud hanging above it. The previous apartment had been a studio where I was living with a roommate. She would sleep on the couch and where my bedroom was, the wall only went up about 3/4 to the cieling. I could get up on my tiptoes and peer over the wall to see what my roomie was doing. That didn't leave much to the imagination when we had guys over, but it worked until it was time for me to move off to be on my own.In spring of 1994 I was working as a cashier at the local grocery store, but the job didn't last very long. WEll to be honest, it was me who didn't last long IN the job. I wasn't happy and decided to do pizza delivery instead. Little did I know, but I was slowly building up debt because I wasn't paying attention to my budget, well really ANY budget. I was working every now and then, making cash from tips and a small paycheck every other week but it was not enough to pay the bills. Luckily I was one of those smarter college students and hadn't opened up a credit card at this point, but I had forgotten to pay the rent. Oh, and lights,tv, radio, heat and stove?? They also were bills that needed to be paid that weren't getting paid. I'm not sure if it was a matter of me doing it on purpose, or by accident. I was one of those kids lucky enough to get just about anything I wanted while I was growing up. While I didn't have a brand new BMW like some of my classmates, I was lucky enough to get a car when I turned 16. I didn't know that it was a different world outside my suburb. I thought that everyone had the same amount of money, dishes got washed on their own, and bills, well, I could always call mom right? That spring I was in a frame of mind that everything would work itself out when it came to the rent and bills. I was all about beer and partying with my friends. I turned 21 Feb. of 1995 and quite a few of my friends were underage. I hung out with a large group of people that ranged in ages. I even hung out with a sister and brother who would sometimes fight when they would come to my place. Those two people made a big impact on my life. I had never seen a brother and sister hate each other so much. It eventually got to the point where I would have two separate crowds of people at my house because of this sister/brother combo. The brother was part of the stereotypical hippie crowd who had stickers all over the back of his car, smoked pot and talked about the Grateful Dead. His sister and her friends who became mine, was part of the stereotypical college frat/sorority type of people who drank beer and talked about each other behind their backs. I also had the only apartment in my circle of friends. After having such a tough time making friends before college I was very thankful to have such a large circle who were all somewhat supportive. My apartment was behind a Denny's and that was just an additional thing that made my apartment THE place to hang out. When we would get board of being snowed in at the apartment, I would run down the stairs and into the snow. Jump in my jeep, warm it up, in negative 50 degree windchills, and drive 500 feet to the Denny's for an all night smoke and coffee sesh. The liquor and beer store was across the street from Denny's which made the party apartment even more appealing. We celebrated every birthday that year at my apartment. Everyone got a store bought cake and balloons. Every occaision was occaision enough for a kegger in the bathtub and a nice round of truth or dare.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
#1
It's My Life, I love you All.
by M.A. Mitchell
I traveled the country 16 times in about 7 months. From feb of 1996 to sept of 1996.
Fall of 1993 through early 1995 were hazy years. I was being abused daily by my then boyfriend. I met him my freshman year of college and we were eventually engaged to be married. At the time I didn't realize that he was pulling the obvious signs of an abusive boyfriend. It should have woken me up the first time he punched me. It was fall on campus and we were walking back from the local pizza joint after playing a few games of pinball. The leaves were yellow and red and gold and I just remember being very happy as we walked back towards our dorm. We lived in the same dorm, him just one floor down. ALl of a sudden, He just hauled off and punched me square in the chest. I dropped to my knees, my breath knocked out of me, in disbelief at what he had just done. I also should of woken up when my dorm mother found me smacking him with our dorm phone just to keep him off me. The third wake up call came in the form of my roommate moving out. That should have been a huge flashing warning sign but I was completely naive and blind. I felt that I deserved everything that he was giving me. He was my first boyfriend really. What did I know. We eventually left the college aer our first year and moved into an apartment together. We both got jobs and started living life together. I started to lose touch with all of my friends. I look back now and realize that was part of his manipulations. He was trying to get me completely alone and friendless so that I would take the beatings. When we would visit his family, I would try to show them the bruises, but all I would hear was stories of him being tied in the backyard and I realized that the abuse had come from his parents. I had a fantastic nanny job, loved every minute of it and got paid well. THe family was very loving and considered me one of their own. This somewhat state of independance would be gone in a flash very soon. I lost my nanny job because my boss heard him beating me one morning when I was calling in sick. It was a nasty situation. They did give me wonderful letters of recommendation and it was with those that I found my next job, selling vertical blinds. When a friend at my new job, taking vertical blind orders, needed a place to crash because her 'boyfriend' kicked her out, I didn't think anything about inviting her to crash on our couch. I slowly realized what was going on when he would stop sleeping in my bed and I would catch the two of them in the middle of the night together. It was finally the kick in the ass I needed to get out of his life forever. Thankfully the landlord could hear what had been happening to me so when I wanted to get out of the lease, the landlord didn't argue and let me go. After I made him and the new girlfriend move me out of 'their' apartment is really when I began to heal and started to spread my wings again.
by M.A. Mitchell
I traveled the country 16 times in about 7 months. From feb of 1996 to sept of 1996.
Fall of 1993 through early 1995 were hazy years. I was being abused daily by my then boyfriend. I met him my freshman year of college and we were eventually engaged to be married. At the time I didn't realize that he was pulling the obvious signs of an abusive boyfriend. It should have woken me up the first time he punched me. It was fall on campus and we were walking back from the local pizza joint after playing a few games of pinball. The leaves were yellow and red and gold and I just remember being very happy as we walked back towards our dorm. We lived in the same dorm, him just one floor down. ALl of a sudden, He just hauled off and punched me square in the chest. I dropped to my knees, my breath knocked out of me, in disbelief at what he had just done. I also should of woken up when my dorm mother found me smacking him with our dorm phone just to keep him off me. The third wake up call came in the form of my roommate moving out. That should have been a huge flashing warning sign but I was completely naive and blind. I felt that I deserved everything that he was giving me. He was my first boyfriend really. What did I know. We eventually left the college aer our first year and moved into an apartment together. We both got jobs and started living life together. I started to lose touch with all of my friends. I look back now and realize that was part of his manipulations. He was trying to get me completely alone and friendless so that I would take the beatings. When we would visit his family, I would try to show them the bruises, but all I would hear was stories of him being tied in the backyard and I realized that the abuse had come from his parents. I had a fantastic nanny job, loved every minute of it and got paid well. THe family was very loving and considered me one of their own. This somewhat state of independance would be gone in a flash very soon. I lost my nanny job because my boss heard him beating me one morning when I was calling in sick. It was a nasty situation. They did give me wonderful letters of recommendation and it was with those that I found my next job, selling vertical blinds. When a friend at my new job, taking vertical blind orders, needed a place to crash because her 'boyfriend' kicked her out, I didn't think anything about inviting her to crash on our couch. I slowly realized what was going on when he would stop sleeping in my bed and I would catch the two of them in the middle of the night together. It was finally the kick in the ass I needed to get out of his life forever. Thankfully the landlord could hear what had been happening to me so when I wanted to get out of the lease, the landlord didn't argue and let me go. After I made him and the new girlfriend move me out of 'their' apartment is really when I began to heal and started to spread my wings again.
Monday, April 11, 2005
WOW..
so I guess its been a LONG time since my last post. I have been super busy with seein shows and also being sick for a few days. When I am fighting off a cold, I get this nasty horse sounding cough and a stuffy nose. That's how I know its time to lay in bed and not move. Right now I have some posters on ebay..feel free to check em out.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7315007031&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1
Its been a regular portland wet spring lately. Lots of grey skies and rain. Buddy got his car impounded and may not be able to get it out. That really sucks. I'm glad I'm not in his shoes. I really really really wish that work would call me for hours. I'm starting to stress over money and I hate being that way. My hubby love doesn't particularly like it either I'm sure but thankfully when we took counseling, it helped us with our communication. So many couples don't try hard enough. I am tired tired tired tonight so Ill throw in a few paragraphs from my story I'm writing. I'd love your feedback. Im working on some fine tooning of the first few paragraphs and when I finish, I'll post them.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7315007031&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1
Its been a regular portland wet spring lately. Lots of grey skies and rain. Buddy got his car impounded and may not be able to get it out. That really sucks. I'm glad I'm not in his shoes. I really really really wish that work would call me for hours. I'm starting to stress over money and I hate being that way. My hubby love doesn't particularly like it either I'm sure but thankfully when we took counseling, it helped us with our communication. So many couples don't try hard enough. I am tired tired tired tonight so Ill throw in a few paragraphs from my story I'm writing. I'd love your feedback. Im working on some fine tooning of the first few paragraphs and when I finish, I'll post them.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
A better day.
the drive is replaceable, the replacement music is already on its way (thanks shnshare folks!) and today is a good day. The man is sleeping soundly after a fun night of drinking. I went to bed somewhat early, watched a bunch of girly movies, had a really good cry and woke up feeling pretty darn chipper. The weather is back to normal portland winter weather, I do kinda miss the sun. The summer plans are coming together, the visa people ROCK for sending me the disability information and today is a good day.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
250 gigs of music..
gone when I woke up this morning. I collect live music (don't worry folks, it's all legal music, ok'd by the band that plays it who says we can openly share it. Check out www.archive.org and http://www.etree.org/ for any further info if you are that interested. ) and found out this morning that my 250 gig external hard drive seems to have fried while I slept. Not the best thing to wake up to. Yes I realize the pope is dying and that Terri Schivo died and that Sandy Berger stole papers from the nat'l archive and detsryoed them but in my little bubble world, The hours it took to download those shows, burn them to disc, archive them (thankfully SOME of the music is replaceable and I was smart enough to burn SOME of them into a personal archive) but a lot of it is just gone. Makes a weekend that kinda sucks. Only one way to go from here though and thats up, so let's hope for a better weekend shall we?
Friday, April 01, 2005
Being little.
I remember the smell of dusk and the dew of a spring or early summer evening as the sun would be setting as we tried to play just one more round of kick the can. Running around the houses. See we lived in a court. All the families in the court had kids so it was imperitive that we all get along and most of the time when I was a lot younger, maybe 5,6 we all did get along and it was always some sort of game that took us into those late hour days. I still remember coming into the house and finding blades of grass stuck in my socks as my mom would yell for me to take a bath and get ready for bed. Maybe she'd be telling me to get my softball uniform ready if it was summer time. I played softball for 9 years of my early life. If it was a different time, maybe I was packing up my tap dance shoes. In those years I did a lot. I remember my dad. This year it will be 10 years since he passed away. As the time gets closer, I find myself remembering him earlier then usual. It's still 3 months till that day. The day that I got a phone call no 21 year old wants, or even fathoms. But thats another blog entry for another day. My dad, in my childhood memories, was mostly a loving and caring dad. And he'd even sing me lullabyes. He wasn't always a monster.
A cake that some of us phish fans got together and had made for the town of Coventry Vermont which was hosting the last Phish concert. We wanted them to know that we were thinking of them.
After the wedding. The thank you post cards and our wedding photo keepsake. The photographer stayed with us for 8 hours so it's really a nice big book thats fun to look at even now. Getting close to that year anniversary.
Practicing the wedding.
At the lovely stressful practice, the night before the wedding. June 18th, 2004.
Riding the train after the wedding and much calmer.
Ahh, just needed some water and laughter to start up the partying June 19th, 2004
SLC Olympics in 2002, seein a hockey game!
Got the thrill of goin to an olympic hockey game. SLC in 2002.
Dancin at the roseland
This was from the VH-1 Special that phish played in new york city at the roseland bar that held a couple thousand. They did this right after playing Radio City Music hall. The fans decided to call it Project Phormal and dress up. A good time was had by all!
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
NYE 99-00 Bruise
the largest bruise Ive ever had that was caused by......what...I have no memory. It was a hell of a party that night, thats for sure.
